Suggestion 9: Time Share, no kidding!

Around 20 or so years ago we received an offer in the mail for two nights in a nice Gatlinburg hotel.  All we had to do was listen to a two-hour sales pitch on time shares.  Two “free” nights in the Smoky Mountains meant vacation to us, so we prepared ourselves for the pressure by literally practicing saying “no.”  How hard could it be?  Ultimately, our practice failed us.

The facility was impressive…actually, a little too impressive.  The agent was friendly…perhaps a little too friendly.  The presentation was slick…almost assuredly, too slick.  The timing of each segment was, well, very well timed.  The biggest problem we hadn’t prepared for was the sense it made…a lot of sense.

Time-share brings out the same feelings in many people, as do used car sales.  It is an unfortunate side effect of dealing with commission sales.  Folks who stand to make money off my spending, tend to really want me to spend…and make no mistake, the pressure is there.  Fortunately, we didn’t let the pressure get to us; we said yes.

Now, time-share isn’t for everyone, so please regard this as meaningless to you if travel isn’t that important.  If, however, you try to include a beach and/or mountain type trip or two into your year, it may fit your needs better than you suspect.  The basics of time-share ownership as we’ve experienced it are actually very simple.  Our first purchase was a fixed week (the 4^th of July week) in Gatlinburg, Tennessee.  Our time-share unit was basically a 2-bedroom house with a loft.  The level of comfort was first rate.  We used it for years and traded it for beach trips and even stayed in Disney World for a week.  Later, we bought into a more flexible points system, giving up our fixed week but allowing stays for less than a week in lots more places.  We’ve stayed in Myrtle Beach, Daytona Beach, Panama City, Williamsburg, Virginia, St. Augustine, even in Jausiers, France while we were living in Germany, and the accommodations are always very nice.  Now that our trips are usually just the two of us, we stay in smaller units for fewer points, consequently, more trips.  So, how much?

When our son was young, we typically traveled every summer staying in a motel/hotel for 5-7 nights.  Hotel stay requires almost all meals out, so that was an added expense.  A week with just three people in one room is tough.  When we listened to the sales pitch, it became obvious the deal made sense to us.  Simply, you pay some amount up front for a point total.  Those points can be spent each year on units wherever your company has resorts (time-share companies trade with each other---that is easier to see in a presentation, but it’s simple).  The initial fee can be what you might spend in say 7-8 years of traveling staying in hotels/motels, so while it may appear to be substantial, it truly pays for itself after that time.  There are fees each year, but they are reasonable.  The points get added to your account on the anniversary of your purchase date, and you can borrow points from the next year or save points from the current year (restrictions apply).  The points are sold to you as deeded property that is part of your estate.

I have had people tell me it must be nice to own such a luxury as time-share, and they are right.  All vacations would have to be considered luxuries, but I think it’s more of an issue of where you put your priorities.  We chose to spend money on time-share when we could have spent it on other, more typical, luxuries.  For instance, we’ve been married over 30 years and have bought two new cars in all that time.  Travel is a love of ours, but we’ve learned that travel without comfort just doesn’t work for us. 

Younger readers have the burden of being early in careers and, possibly, child rearing, but you also have the great luxury of a lifetime of trips.  Older readers may be more limited in number of years of ownership, but we are certainly more flexible in the dates we can travel.  We have never stayed anyplace we weren’t extremely satisfied with.  Resorts by nature are located where there are incredible things to do and see.  We have always loved the mountains and the beaches, so those are our typical trips, but historical sites like Williamsburg have been wonderful, too. 

Good luck.  See you down the road or maybe at a time-share sales meeting.  Just keep practicing.

Suggestion 8: You can’t get there without making the trip!

While we work, especially at a long-term profession like we did with teaching (65 years between us), we make decisions with a much different mindset than upon retirement.  I would argue most of my decisions were what would get us through the week, the day, or even just the morning.  Jobs just eat so much of our time.  Oh, we planned for retirement, but more as a thing out there sometime later.  Then later comes.

Salaries buy us options.  Wealth is a relative term, but I always defined it as having the choice to do or not do things.  Options.  And while many would say wealth is the result of substantial paychecks, I think frugal living is perhaps more important.  That discussion is for another time.  In this essay I want to pass

along another nugget we’ve discovered during retirement ---another one we didn’t see coming. 

When you retire (stop reading if you’re truly rich), when you live on a fixed income, you lose options.  Or more accurately you lose the mindset you had when paychecks were still coming in---the mindset that allows you to put off evaluating decision-making because you’re so busy.  I’ve written about work as the Great Distraction, and this is not intended as a repeat of that suggestion.  Rather this is another reminder that you will have time to reevaluate all those hurried decisions, and some, maybe lots, won’t look so good.

The point is the view we have on where we are, required us to be there to view it.  It is an interesting mental exercise to imagine different choices along the way with equally imagined outcomes, but it is just an exercise, a pretend game.  The road you traveled to get where you are was the road you traveled.  The decisions you made choosing your way were probably the best ones you could make with the time, resources, and knowledge you had.  Live a responsible life, show up for your family, show up for work, treat others as you wish to be treated, work on your weaknesses, and accept your limitations.  I suggest “bad” decisions are inevitable when judged by the 20/20 of hindsight.  Rather than be disappointed, use all “mistakes” as lights shining on who you were then and are now.  Good luck, and, yes, I already know I’ll look back on this essay with regret later!

Suggestion 7: Photo Books

This is another one of those ideas I wish I had known about while so many memorable events in our lives were happening.  Oh, we took loads of photographs and have them in numerous albums and boxes.  I look at them now and then and marvel just how many times we took basically the same picture so many times in a set.  Really, how many standing next to the “fill in the blank” pictures do you need?  When someone would look at one of our albums we would have a running commentary, usually filling in what the pictures left out.  We have changed.

We still take loads of pictures, and digital cameras have made that so easy.  What we do differently is take pictures with a finished book in mind.  It makes us focus on the images that will tell the story of whatever we are experiencing be it a trip, a gathering, or even just everyday happenings.  Of course, I’m describing photo books.  I am by no means an expert on the subject, but I am very knowledgeable about two companies; Sam’s Club and Snapfish.   I use Snapfish the most because it allows me more options than Sam’s Club.  However, options cost money.  Sam’s is by far the cheapest I’ve found.  There are others you can try.  Just google it.

The process requires some computer skills and an internet connection, but it is predictable and simple.  That does not mean this is a fast, easy job.  I’ve made 20 or so photo books and am working on more most months now.  First, you sign up online for an account at the service of your choice: snapfish.com or samsclub.com or whatever.  The Sam’s one is a little confusing at first since you have to go to the Photo tab to get to the right place.  Once you have an account you’ll need to upload the pictures you will use.  I usually upload many more pictures than I’ll actually put in the book, but it’s nice to have the options.  You can always upload more at any time, until you pay for the book!  The upload will take as much as an hour if you have a bunch of pictures, but 30-40 pictures takes just ten minutes or so.  Second, you’ll choose layout options and background options.  At first, I used thematic layouts like travel, but I choose now just a simple one with simple backgrounds.  I have gotten leather before but not lately.  I do like the ones with a photo covering the entire cover.  It just defines the event immediately, but I like them all.  This is the end of the easy part.

I’ve gotten much better at putting the book together just from experience, but it has also helped that we take photos with a finished book in mind.  That really helps.  You aren’t just taking a bunch of pictures; you are getting shots that tell the story.  I look at all the pictures, lay out a natural progression in my mind, and start placing pictures.  The templates allow you to put as many as 4 pictures on a page, and I do sometimes.  My wife suggested early on to only use layouts that let you use as much of the page as possible for your photos.  Of course the real work is composing the descriptions throughout the books.  About half my pages have something written; pictures can tell most of the story, but they do need some help!  Again, I keep my layouts simple with most pages having one picture, some with words, and the rest are just shots I couldn’t leave out even if they are somewhat repetitive.  That’s when I use the four on a page layout.  You can add as many pages as you want.  You get charged by the page after the basic charge for 20 or so pages.  I almost always have to add some pages, but that just means we have too many great photos to leave out.   

I’m sure some readers might feel an album will do the same storytelling, and they can sure stay with what works for them.  I can tell you we love these books!  They take up little room (they’re the size of a spiral notebook) and tell just one story at a time.  Our albums are great collections of memories, but they were designed to be just that: a place to store a load of photos. 

I hope some of you give this a try.  I have ten more I’ve started in my head! 

I am including some photos of two of our books.

This is a book our son made on a family trip to the Smoky Mountains.  The cover option he chose was a cutout showcasing the photo inside.

You can see how this format allowed space for a few words under the picture.

This is a format with a photo on the entire cover.

This is an example of four photos on a page all at the same restaurant/pigout event with our great friend, Allie Wilson.

Suggestion 6: Food as Reward, Exercise as Punishment

First, I want to make certain everyone knows I am no nutrition or exercise expert.  There are so many sources out there for proper diet and exercise; information is not what is lacking.  What I want to share are some things we’ve learned in the past three years that we didn’t anticipate.  I’ll start with eating, more specifically, eating out.

It’s a sad truth that I cannot suggest a single restaurant with healthy foods.  The salad bar at Whole Foods may be an exception, but I hardly characterize the place as a restaurant.  Of course, most people I know add so much salad dressing to their salad it becomes a high calorie bomb.  We have made a conscious effort to reduce sugar and salt in our diets, and as a consequence, are much more sensitive to the taste when it is present in large quantities.  That pretty much includes every place we visit.  So, we rarely eat out anymore.  Not only did we not anticipate this, we actively planned eating out more often in retirement.  When we were working, eating out was something we gave ourselves as a reward--- less work, great quantities of good tasting food, and no dishes!  We were certain in retirement we would be able to find the great lunch deals at area restaurants, and we did…for about 6 months.  Slowly, we began to realize we made better food at home.  For less.  And enjoyed it more. 

The point is eating out was something we had enjoyed while working, and we assumed in retirement all the things we enjoyed would be replayed even more frequently.  But we enjoyed it because of the break more than the food.  It is rare now that one of our meals is rushed.  Oh, we still eat too fast---bad habits die slowly---but we have plenty of time to cook, eat, and clean up now.  The enjoyment we used to find in eating out has been replaced by even more fun fixing foods we like and are much more nutritionally sensible.  I look more forward to experimenting with menus than eating most restaurant food.  It would have helped me if I’d known this in advance.  Maybe some of you will learn from our experience and look forward to having the time to prepare foods without resorting to prepackaged, less healthy items.  Think about television commercials on supper entrees; the selling point is not health/taste; it’s how few minutes it takes!  You will have plenty of minutes to fix a better supper!

I know a lot of jobs involve a great deal of sitting, but I never had one.  I never wore a pedometer to measure steps in a day, but there were a bunch!  Retirement requires exercise to replace those steps.  And, you’ve got to be pretty passionate about it.  Our exercise consists of walking, and we chose Murfreesboro in part because of the excellent greenways for walking. 

The point is retirement is the chance to start making your health your focus, instead of working it in when the job allows.  I never knew I could enjoy exercise like I do.  I always saw it simply as a means to an end, a necessary evil.  It was something I did to my body to justify bad calories.  Now, I truly look forward to our morning walks.  As a consequence, we've lost weight and are healthier.

So, just walk if nothing else.  While you’re planning great things for your kitchen, plan also to exercise.  Don’t wait.  Just plan to walk everyday.  If you’re a runner, that’s great.  If you can do weight work, that’s great.  When people ask me what I do now, I tell them I walk for a living.  Basically, it’s the only activity we require of ourselves.  Of course, exercise should be a part of life before retirement, but there are always distractions and busy schedules that can interfere.  My father-in-law is 92 and exercises 45-60 minutes everyday.  It’s no surprise his heart is so strong!

It’s ironic, but I now view exercise as a reward and most restaurant food as punishment!

Stories I Told: Link to my podcast (it's on the right)

I taught middle school for 30 years.  I discovered early on that the job was much more than teaching mathematical equations or subject/verb agreement.  Middle school is a time when students start to develop ideas and accompanying actions based more on what they experience than what they are told.  For instance, students have been told not to lie every year and can repeat reasons without thinking about it.  So, why do they still lie?  It’s because they really don’t think it’s wrong.  Oh, they will tell you it’s wrong, but actions do speak louder than words.  They have seen adults tell them one thing while modeling different behaviors.  I’ll never forget my father telling me he would kill me if I ever smoked as he lit one cigarette from the last.  Telling students they are only cheating themselves when they cheat sounds good, but in reality if cheating gets someone praise instead of punishment, it’s hard to see it as cheating oneself.  Getting caught cheating is a different matter, but let’s hope the lesson is not just to cheat more carefully.  The point is I discovered I had an opportunity to help my students decide how to act.  While I did not feel it my place to direct students down a particular path, I did feel comfortable making them examine issues in greater depth than usually they had before.  The vehicle I used for this examination was my own life experience.  I tried to make most of the time in my class entertaining whether I was teaching integer operations or telling a life story.  Of course, I hoped the stories would lead students to consider their own decision-making in a new way and help them realize the power they had to both improve and harm the folks they shared class with.

I divided the stories into 7 categories with three stories in each. 

Limits: We are what we will allow.

Self-efficacy: Grab your end and let’s get this done!

Trials:  Some pains never end.

Lessons:  Seize the day, but know how hard to hold.

Changes:  Painful and worth it!

Warnings:  What I feel strongest about.

Peace:  Slow down there, Turbo!

I will begin with one of my favorite stories about my mother, a little old lady schoolteacher who died much too young at age 56 over thirty years ago.  Probably like many readers, I was sure my mother couldn’t possibly surprise me.  But she did.

Suggestion 5: Redefining a Successful Day

My first real paycheck job (I worked for my father forever but I’m still waiting on that check) was selling men’s clothing in Memphis.  I was 16 and made $1.20 an hour.  I left there to sell ladies shoes for $1.80 with commission.  Later, I worked construction, loaded and unloaded trucks, and every conceivable dirty yard job.  I started teaching in 1977 and retired in 2008.  I got three degrees. 

This work outline could probably be used by most of my generation with different jobs and/or timelines, but essentially the same.  Most of us work most of our adult lives.  Most of our days during our working years are filled with the expectations--- either predictable or not---of our jobs.  We schedule around our work hours.  We reward ourselves on time off.  If you meet someone their first insight into you is your job---I’m a teacher, programmer, carpenter, etc.  A good day is probably one where the job goes smoothly.  A great day is one where you get singled out for praise.  A bad day includes some level of failure.  As a teacher, success was facilitating learning of subject matter and life skills (the students who had me know learning to think through a challenge was more important than a specific skill set), getting along with coworkers, and doing what the boss told me.  And then I retired.

So, what defines success when no one else is defining it for you?  The first days of retirement felt like a vacation, and most vacations have in common no clearly defined tasks with required timelines.  Then the vacation ends.  If external forces have been setting the agenda for the last forty years, how do we set our own?  It took me the better part of three years to accept that what I got done with my days was success.   I suspect many people will set some goals before retirement to drive them through the first years.  I didn’t.  The point is, the sooner you embrace that however you choose to fill your days deserves respect, the better.   And, of course, I’m not talking about destructive behaviors (I had been putting off taking care of myself---no more).  I’m sure it’s a task I should have developed years ago, but it took me this long to accept my accomplishments without hoping for the praise of others to justify them.  Hope it doesn’t take you as long.