Suggestion 5: Redefining a Successful Day

My first real paycheck job (I worked for my father forever but I’m still waiting on that check) was selling men’s clothing in Memphis.  I was 16 and made $1.20 an hour.  I left there to sell ladies shoes for $1.80 with commission.  Later, I worked construction, loaded and unloaded trucks, and every conceivable dirty yard job.  I started teaching in 1977 and retired in 2008.  I got three degrees. 

This work outline could probably be used by most of my generation with different jobs and/or timelines, but essentially the same.  Most of us work most of our adult lives.  Most of our days during our working years are filled with the expectations--- either predictable or not---of our jobs.  We schedule around our work hours.  We reward ourselves on time off.  If you meet someone their first insight into you is your job---I’m a teacher, programmer, carpenter, etc.  A good day is probably one where the job goes smoothly.  A great day is one where you get singled out for praise.  A bad day includes some level of failure.  As a teacher, success was facilitating learning of subject matter and life skills (the students who had me know learning to think through a challenge was more important than a specific skill set), getting along with coworkers, and doing what the boss told me.  And then I retired.

So, what defines success when no one else is defining it for you?  The first days of retirement felt like a vacation, and most vacations have in common no clearly defined tasks with required timelines.  Then the vacation ends.  If external forces have been setting the agenda for the last forty years, how do we set our own?  It took me the better part of three years to accept that what I got done with my days was success.   I suspect many people will set some goals before retirement to drive them through the first years.  I didn’t.  The point is, the sooner you embrace that however you choose to fill your days deserves respect, the better.   And, of course, I’m not talking about destructive behaviors (I had been putting off taking care of myself---no more).  I’m sure it’s a task I should have developed years ago, but it took me this long to accept my accomplishments without hoping for the praise of others to justify them.  Hope it doesn’t take you as long.