Most of the earlier suggestions have been about lessons we’ve learned that we didn’t predict. This one is about a lesson we suspected and turns out were right about. I realize many folks will not get to choose a new location for their retirement like we did when we left six years in Germany working for the DoD, but there probably is some freedom to decide. How did we choose? It’s simple…and complicated.
While we were working for the Army in Germany we met people from quite literally the whole world. We visited 12 countries and had immediate neighbors from 6 countries (next door, Persian husband, German/Hungarian wife, across the street, family of Turks, around the corner, Russians, and nearby Americans and Germans---one of our favorite close restaurants was an Italian place with a German cook run by a Greek and near that was a Spanish restaurant run by Turks). Turns out, almost everyone loves their home and/or adopted country---just as much or more than everyone else does (apologies to my logic teacher). We had so many conversations with Europeans extolling the virtues of their countries suggesting we move there when we retired. They also had great reasons to avoid the other countries! Turns out, the same is true for all those Americans we met from all over the U.S. Every state appears to be the best for a variety of reasons.
Now, I have always felt the greatest influence comes from folks who have a real passion for something. I think most of my past students would suggest I was maybe even too passionate about some of the mathematics I taught. Passion gets listened to…passion entertains…passion teaches…passion sells. The point is we had a lot of passionate people telling us about why their location was best, and we listened. We dreamed, we studied, we talked a lot, but we discovered, somewhat to our surprise, that Tennessee truly is home to us.
Tennessee isn’t better than someone else’s home, but it’s the place we measure other places by. Now, understand we love traveling maybe even staying months on a visit, but I suspect we will return here each time. It’s a hard thing to describe or even understand. For example, we hate that several times every year the weather in Tennessee makes serious attempts to kill us---tornados and floods in spring, oppressive heat and humidity in summer, ice storms in winter (fall is a pretty safe time to visit, by the way)---but we would never want to live in a place without four distinct seasons. But lots of places have that. We both graduated from Memphis State University (University of Memphis now); I did twice and sold cokes at the ball games as a kid. We do have a special feeling for our alma mater and are not just fans for geographical reasons. But following a team is easy now on tv and/or internet. Tennesseans are universally polite folks and sincere interest in others is common here. But there are nice folks everywhere. Tennessee has river delta and mountains and every terrain in between. But most states have diverse geography. It’s complicated.
Of course, I’ve saved family and friends for last. The older we get, the more roots have mattered. We have family in three locations in the state so travel to visit was inevitable. The easier that travel, the better…and cheaper! We have great relationships with our families, maybe the best we’ve ever had. Old friends, friends with a shared history simply cannot be replaced. I’ve told folks before there are a lot of people I care about, but there are fewer I miss. I suspect most people are like that.
I guess home is like that soup you like so much. You aren’t even aware of all the ingredients, but you recognize immediately if they are missing. Bon appétit!
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